


Far, Far, to the North

by moonrunes



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Crossover, Gen, this is essentially crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-15
Updated: 2016-03-15
Packaged: 2018-05-26 23:30:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6260389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonrunes/pseuds/moonrunes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kylo Ren goes exploring. He meets another Dark Lord (really, how many Dark Lords are there?) Phasma is unfazed. Mairon and Hux are exasperated. Melkor likes taking things over and has respect for other Dark Lords - even if they're not Lords yet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Far, Far, to the North

How long ago was a long time ago?

And how far away was the galaxy?

Very far, if Hux’s readings were anything to go by. Honestly, this was the last time he listened to that whiny baby of a Sith Lord - exploring the uncharted areas of space, even if they were looking for Skywalker, was never a good thing to do.

Particularly not when their base had been destroyed and their mighty Sith Lord beaten by a couple of scrawny kids. 

Hux dropped his head into his hands and groaned. It had been a rough week.

Phasma coughed, making him jump and spin around.

Her chrome armor was still dented from her stint in the garbage compactor - luckily, it hadn’t killed her, just left her prized armor with a few scratches. Hux was glad he wasn’t the person that shoved her in there - even with her helmet on, he could tell that she was thinking bloody murder at whoever dared to do that to her vintage armor.

“What do you want?” Hux picked up his tablet and tried to look busy - there was no telling what Phasma would do if she caught him slacking off. He’d seen the stormtroopers she’d set as examples - fifty circuits of the landing bay wasn’t exactly appealing to him.

“General. Ren’s awake and he’s angry.” The unspoken statement - it’s your turn to deal with his tantrums - made Hux sigh and drop his tablet back onto the desk. “Thank you. You’re dismissed.”

She nodded (as well as she could with that metal bucket on her head) and left, leaving Hux alone.

Hux sat for a few seconds after she’d left, contemplating his life and how much it meant to him, before getting up with a grunt and making his way to the hospital wing of the ship, watching the troopers and technicians alike scrambling to get out of his way, and feeling a spark of pride.

I hope I’ve made her proud.

He didn’t even bother knocking before entering Ren’s hospital room - wishing for a second that he’d brought his tablet with him - what was he going to do, chat? Give reports, more like.

“Ren.”

Kylo jerked his head up, revealing a face swathed in bandages and a grumpy expression. Hux chanced a quick look around the room - good, his lightsaber was nowhere to be found.

Unless...

“What is it?” Kylo asked, shifting slightly to reveal his saber tucked under his pillow. Hux sighed. Figures. 

“We’re in the uncharted areas of the galaxy - are you sure you wish to continue looking for Skywalker?”

“Yes.” Kylo turned away, hands fidgeting. “I need to find him.”

Hux inwardly sighed. “Very well.”

“General!” Two stormtroopers walked in with the carefully measured walk that Phasma drilled into all her soldiers, and Hux turned to them with the carefully measured dislike of someone having a conversation that was important yet grating. 

“What is it?”

“General, there is a planet nearby. The technicians say that we must land there - we need to make repairs to the hull-”

“Fine, fine, set us down.” Hux waved a hand at them, and they fled as quickly as they could without being considered disrespectful.

He turned back to Kylo. “I must go supervise the landing.”

“I’ll come too.” Kylo tried to heave himself off the bed, and Hux outwardly sighed. “Ren, weren’t you shot? And slashed, and-”

“Wounds don’t matter anymore,” Kylo snarled. “We must see what this new planet has.”

Hux barely refrained from rolling his eyes. “Very well.”

He walked slower than he normally did, for Kylo to keep up with him down to the control center, stopping by the interrogation room for his dumb mask (why he wore that thing, Hux didn’t know, nor did he want to know) and finally standing in the control center watching a curious planet come ever closer.

“Do you think it is populated?” Kylo’s voice sounded odd from under the mask, but Hux still recognized it. “Possibly, though it is hard to say from two hundred and seventy miles above the surface.”

Kylo fell silent, and Hux felt a spark of pride, followed shortly by wondering if Kylo was going to lose his temper and strangle his top general. There was no telling what he’d do.

It was a bumpier landing than Hux had anticipated, so much so that everything in the room jumped briefly before resuming it’s place, some tipping hot coffee on the floor. While technicians yelped and ran to get cleaning cloths, Hux turned to Kylo. “Time to find out if your thought is true, Ren.”

Phasma joined them in the hallway leading to the outside, wisely carrying her gun as well as a smaller gun for Hux. He took it and was the first down the gangplank, stepping into grass that seemed entirely too green.

Their black boots (or silver, in Phasma’s case) seemed oddly out of place, and Hux could not help but feel uneasy - just a little bit. What dwelled here - something that enhanced the grass? How powerful would this being be?

Mairon tapped the sheet of metal, gritting his teeth as it bent in exactly the way he did not want. He tried to rein in his temper - Aulë said that a smith with a temper made them hard to work with, and made the metal even harder - so he fetched a smaller hammer and tapped it again.

The door crashed open and he dropped the hammer, cursing.

“Mai!” Melkor strode in with all the arrogance that one would have thought he lost after his imprisonment. “How’s the smithing and stuff going?”

“Could’ve been better,” Mairon groused, on his hands and knees, searching for the lost hammer. Melkor looked down and bent over. “Looking for this?”

Mairon crossed the room and snatched it out of his hand. “Yes, thank you, you must be a particularly good finder.”

“Think nothing of it.” Melkor rolled his eyes. “Still, though, I thought the automaton bird was a work of genius. Why refine the design?”

“So that it can get better,” Mairon argued. “Otherwise-”

They were interrupted by a loud crash, coming in the direction of the entrance hall. Mairon shared one glance with Melkor and rushed after him, grabbing a spear from the rack by the door as he went.

He and Melkor both knew that even Balrogs did not make that much noise.

Kylo glared at the pillar he’d accidentally knocked over (how he’d done it, Hux would never know - they appeared to be bolted to the ceiling, how did these things even happen) , as if willing it to fight him, and Hux sighed.

The squad of nine stormtroopers that they’d brought with them shifted slightly. Hux glared at them, and then at Kylo. “Ren, what the-”

He never got to finish his sentence, for the loud stomping of shoes coming from the hall to their left. Hux jumped, reaching for his handgun, squinting and trying to make out people in the darkness and listening to Phasma bark at her soldiers.

Only two came running out, a skinny ginger with some sort of medieval spear and a shiny red braid, and a tall man with a warhammer (really, how backwards were these people?) and thick black hair that showcased blue highlights glinting from the lights. They were both tall - easily a foot taller than Hux himself, taller than Phasma, even.

They appeared to be surprised, as if they hadn’t noticed the giant spacecraft on their front lawn, but the shock didn’t last before one of the stormtroopers shot a warning near the ginger one.

It never came close. The dark-haired one snatched the bolt out of the air, crushing it with a sizzle between his fingers. Hux swallowed - more a reflex than anything. 

“Why are you in the stronghold of Melkor, dark lord of Arda?” growled the ginger, and the other one - Melkor? - raised a hand lazily, resting the head of his warhammer on the ground. “Peace, Mairon. Let’s hear the tiny people out.”

Hux bristled - if this was what being short was like, he hated it - and Kylo stepped forwards. “Dark Lord?”

“The one and only.” Melkor grinned at them that showed more teeth than real happiness. “What’s with the mask?”

“To hide my identity and make people fear me.” Hux was actually glad for Kylo’s voice changer now - if he’d been talking like he’d normally did without the mask, then there was a chance that Melkor would laugh them out.

“Really?” Melkor arched one eyebrow. “I don’t know - after all, isn’t it better to be proud of your actions, proud enough to show your face?” He squinted at them. “Or perhaps if you’re from somewhere else, it would be different. But honestly, the only one who looks like he’s proud to be here is that one.” He flicked a lazy finger at Hux.

Hux barely had time to react before Phasma growled, “None of us want to be here. We must make repairs - will you give us your supplies willingly, or must we force your hand?”

Melkor looked at her with mild interest. “Well, if you force my hand, you will be annihilated. And I would like to know what exactly I am repairing before helping you.” He paused, before adding, “Plus, who doesn’t want to be here?”

The other one - Mairon - sighed. “All the other Valar, my lord.”

Melkor flapped a hand at him. “They don’t count.”

Mairon rolled his eyes, and Hux felt like that would be the first and only time he felt some sort of kinship with the braided ginger - getting annoyed at so-called “Dark Lords” appeared to be a universal thing, no matter what galaxy one happened to be from.

“Our ship.” Phasma didn’t appear rattled by Melkor, and Hux envied her, in a way. “We must repair it so that we can return to our own galaxy.”

“And do what?” Mairon asked.

“Take over the galaxy, like my grandfather before me,” Kylo answered, and Hux internally groaned. Now they’d never let them have supplies.

To his utter shock, Melkor’s eyes brightened. “Take over your galaxy? Consider those supplies sent!” He laughed and clapped Mairon on the back as he turned and left, calling, “Mai, help them out with their ship, will you? I need to go get some supplies.”

Hux was glad he wasn’t the only one shocked by this turn of events.

“My lord, is this wise?”

Melkor flapped another hand at him. “Of course! If they’re planning to take over their own world, then we ought to help them!”

“Taking their galaxy over may also include Arda,” reasoned Mairon, and Melkor stopped to think for a second before resuming his supply run. “Nonsense. Did you see what I did to their little lightning bolt?”

“Yes, and I also see what it did to your hand,” replied Mairon tartly, and Melkor shrugged. “It will heal. But in the meantime-” He hoisted a stack of boxes and shoved them into Mairon’s hands. “Better help our new compatriots.”

Mairon groaned, throwing his head back, before staggering out the door with his load. It was going to be one of those days.

It was several hours before their ship was complete, with a new side-plate made from the experimental ore that Mairon had been testing a few weeks past. In return, the one called Kylo Ren gave them a handful of crystals that he’d “found” somewhere - though Mairon doubted it - and they were soon boarding and preparing for take-off.

Mairon saw the ginger one - General Hux - and tapped him on the shoulder, not wanting to cause a scene. He understood and followed Mairon to the side of the ship - if the silver-armored soldier noticed, she didn’t show it.

“Listen to me, and listen well,” Mairon began. “If you decide to include this world in your ‘taking over your galaxy’-”

Hux tried to speak, but Mairon cut him off. “Should the thought ever cross your mind-”

He lifted Hux by the neck and pushed him against the wall of his spacecraft. “Then I will make sure that your days are numbered, for there will be nowhere you can go in all the worlds to escape me. Do you understand?”

Hux nodded - though it wasn’t like he could do anything else - and Mairon let him down. He coughed for a few seconds before straightening up and nodding at him.

“We won’t.”

The goodbyes happened in relative peace, but it was another hour before Hux felt he’d fully recovered from Mairon’s threat. Though it hadn’t exactly been the best phased threat he’d ever heard, there had been something in his eyes that had shaken Hux to the core.

He glanced at his tablet quickly, before doing a double take and looking closer. “Captain?”

“Yes, General?” Phasma moved closer, peering over his shoulder at the screen. Hux clenched his teeth. “Get Ren. He may want to see this.”


End file.
